Just Simply Me..

Today was so needed!
I walk into my seven hour shift to be greeted by my two favorite leads Myra and mama Gina. Which Myra handed me a ticket for having perfect attendance so I got to have a free meal!
Gina then asked for everyone to get ready for the next rush of people so I decide to take all the lids to the back and wash them, it took me about 45 min and it was a nice to be able to just think about how much I love my job!
I return with the lids to a crowd of people so I jump on the line! It was so busy it was insane and we were understaffed!
Gina comes up to me saying that I could go on break, I turn around to say okay to her and she hands me a bag,
She said thank you for cleaning those for me without me having to force you like everyone else.
I proceed to my break and open the bag to find a three pack of beignets, which happens to be one of my favorite snacks at Disneyland that we actually sell. I got so excited that I called my momma telling her how I was having such a wonderful day.
I then took the moment to appreciate actually being appreciated for what I do when I come to work, unlike at knotts.
I like when I’m told I’m doing a good job. So with today and yesterday I’m smiling ear to ear!

To be completely honest work is one of the only things holding me together right now,
When I’m not at work I’m constantly over thinking things, worrying, stressing. All stuff that I’m sure isn’t good for me. But I am. Things are changing a lot still I’m growing up more and more, and my life is moving forward, I’m losing friends but gaining new ones. I can say that I love my job more then anything else because it really is one of the only things that makes me happy now a days.
I enjoy it so much, but I’m also feeling the pressure of working at Disneyland. Not only do you basically sell your life away, but you grow distant to friends, and are unable to have a social life. People will try to use you and all sorts of things. Just because you work at Disneyland. I have been having a hard time just trying to control my emotions and feelings because of all this.
Complicated I know.
And some of you people will just think I’m stupid and that I shouldn’t feel like this and I’m a horrible person blah blah blah.
But I am stressed even if I can’t explain why.
It would be wonderful if you tried to understand.

Brandi was saying today that she thinks I have anxiety. Which totally makes since but I had never realized it before.
Whenever I say or write something and am waiting for a response I get a horrible feeling in my throat, and my tummy goes upside down.
I try to please everyone and feel like a major failure when I don’t meet the expectations, why I don’t ever say no because I don’t want to cause problems.
Stress free life? Never.

Eight hour back of house shift tomorrow.
Please be a good day.
Goodnight.

Alright I’m to ten followers? Well then I don’t know most of you people or why you follow me because I have no theme or anything. But alright? Welcome to my blog I guess!